Thursday, May 17, 2012

Driving for Dummies (MY version)

  1. If headlights flashed from behind, it means get the F out of the way, it doesn't mean show me your car top speed. 
  2. Aiming your car's windscreen water jets to hit the car travelling behind does not get any reward points, its just stupid way to waste water.
  3. Hanging a soft toy under the bumper is not stylish, its childish + dumb-ish
  4. Fixing a rubber strip under the PLASTIC bumber doesn't discharge negative charge, the 4 tires can do the job better.
  5. Having 2 metre high spoiler doesn't increase the car's downforce, it just spoils the air flow and cash flow.
  6. Having skirting around the car that almost touches road is cool, until you hit a hole, speed breaker or ramp like a fool.
  7. Having red & blue flashing LEDs on your dashboard doesn't instantly turn you into a police detective
  8. Having extra bright flashing LEDs that blinds the driver tailing you might get you a black eye or brick on the car!
  9. During extreme rain & strong winds, if you can't continue driving, don't crawl all over the road with your hazard lights flashing. It doesn't give a F'ing clue on what you're about to do. Instead, halt on the side, turn on the hazard lights and wait till you can drive.
  10. (turning/changing lanes): when driving on the highway, please stay on the right-most (overtaking) lane if your exit (on the left) is approaching. This will also give you bonus points.
  11. (turning/changing lanes): if you're honked at for changing lane without signalling, pretend like you're deaf or better if you can slide & hide under your steering.
  12. (turning/changing lanes): when you've signaled and given space to change lane, you don't need to wait till the space is enough for a Airbus A380 to fit in!
  13. (turning/changing lanes): when a car is turning into your lane from a junction, please prevent it by overtaking the car, even if driving into the opposite lane. This will give you extra points, redeemable soon in your afterlife.

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