Inconsistent funeral rites - முரண்பாடான ஈமச்சடங்கு

[Ennapa ni, kaalaiyileh yelevu patthi yeluthureh? - expected reactions, but I see some disturbing trends in funerals nowadays]

In the cycle of life, we can't possibly ignore the fact that we will be dead on one fine day. Funeral rites are part and parcel of our Hindu custom. Of late, whenever I have to visit/attend any funeral of a friend or relative, I find that every funeral is being 'uniquely confusing', or its better to say inconsistently performed. 

Before we go into the rites and customs, lets start from the mourners and visitors. I wonder if many are ignorant on the traditional color of mourning a Hindu's death is white, where one who attend a funeral/cremation should be dressed in simple white clothes. Unfortunately, we can see maximum 'chinggu cha chinggu cha' colorful dressings, some even with elaborate jewelries like they are heading for a kaathu kutthu function. Adeh kaalam poreh pokkil, vellei sattei engge naan poyi tedi potu vareh? Summa jeans, tshirt patthathaa? Yeah, even when going to temple we can see all kind of inappropriate dressings, let alone funerals.

If not everyone, at least some majority can start this 'uniformity'

Next comes the rites and rituals. I've personally witnessed all sort of 'performance' by the undertakers (not WWE related). There are many types of undertakers, some trained, some self taught, some fast & furious, some slow and steady, some with hours of chanting, some with minutes of mumbling, some with exorbitant expenses, some simple bin sempoi, some are structured, some are ambiguous, some sober, some are even drunk!

There don't seem to be any fixed rituals performed, everyone has their own way. Worse case when, family members, friends, foes, munaavathu veedu mama, turatthu sontham, teriyatha bantham starts give comments, suggestions, objections, threats and teachings to the poor undertakers. Everything gets messed up, some people gets fed up. Why don't the 'wholesale authority' of Hinduism in the country, come up with clear guidelines on funeral rites/rituals and conduct trainings on that? Something like Kursus/Program Pengurusan Jenazah conducted by state Islamic bodies? Athu kastham tambi, ellarum course pogeh mudiyathuleh. Then don't get into the funeral business lah!

The Chinese community has formal training program/facility for undertakers.

Recently there's another trend mushrooming around our community, musical funerals. Nothing wrong with it, but if the lead singers are female, and they sing and drum their way till they're heard in another village, something is not right. I witnessed a troupe which 'entertained' the dead, of which I was so afraid the dead will get up and slap them hard. They were so loud, coarse and plain irritating. Athu athuku oru murainu irukuleh? Summa kaatu katthu katthi, nambe mandeiku mani adikathingehlah! There seems to be acute shortage of Hindus to perform these musicals, as a result you may have come accross many Chinese singing funeral & Sivan songs so precisely and passionately at Hindu funerals.

As long don't end up like this, OK lah.

Finally, after all the ooh and aahs completed with oppari paadal CD launching (occasionally interluded by fist fights and kette kette varthaigal), the body of the dead is brought to the pyre in a crematorium. Here more shocking scenes are seen. Traditionally NO female family members or relatives are allowed to set foot in a crematorium, in addition to that women are not allowed to participate in certain rituals and funeral ceremonies, they are not even allowed to visit the cremation grounds. But now the curious ladies, some with young children are allowed right near the burning pyre, be it electric or open cremation!! Ennayah nadakathu inggeh? Yaruku labam, piragu unggel pillaiku peyi ottum poli samiyargalukuthaan. The sad part is, elderly people are not attempting to stop this nonsense from continuing, even if they do I don't think these maangga mandeh manusis will listen anyway. Again, guidelines are needed.

Post-funeral customs are also modified to suit the fast-paced lives of 'ultra-busy, multimillionaire' family members and relatives. The norm is, anyone who've performed the final rites for the dead, are to follow a strict vegetarian diet and abstaining from attending any temple function/prayer, feast or auspicious occasions for at least 16 days as the mark of respect to the departed soul and in accordance to the generic Hindu custom. Some undertakers are very strict on this matter, some says only 10 days enough, some goes on to 7 days, while there's a few who gave mega sale discounts to just 3 days of vege diet!

If we can't even follow this simple sacrifice of abstinence from food and entertainment, don't bother to cry out loud and pull the coffin walls apart in the process, to show intense 'mourning'! Stay home, watch Astro, eat idlis with meen curry.

Nallathaa irunthalum, yelevaa irunthalum, seiyurathai olungga seiyanum, seiya teriyatti kehttu terinjikanum!

Some useful links:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_proper_Hindu_funeral_etiquette
http://www.funerals-and-flowers.com/hindu-funerals.html